Essay on Malaysia: Top 10 highest paying jobs in Malaysia that does not require a degree

     If the value of the Malaysian Ringgit weren't always falling, I am actually quite proud of the country's currency. It's artful, and full of color. The Ringgit also reflects Malaysia's rich diversified culture. Unlike the US dollar or the British Pound. So monotonous and uninspiring.

   Now, one thing that graduates take note of when selecting a career path, are the careers, or specifically, the jobs that pay the most.

     But what if you don't have a university degree? And what if you're in Malaysia?

    Here's my list of top 10 occupations in Malaysia that pay the highest (in Malaysian Ringgit) that do not require a  university degree.

    Note: As of 17 March 2016, the current exchange rate is 1 US Dollar = 4.0585 Malaysian Ringgit.

A typical Fresh Graduate Salary is sadly between 1,800 Ringgit and 2,200 Ringgit a month  for Accountants, and 2,500 and 2,800 Ringgit a month for Engineers

10. Pirated DVD peddler/ seller (RM20,000/month)

     A source of cash flow for Chinese Triads, typically out of Penang, one can always find a stall at the local Pasar Malam in Malaysian Neighborhoods selling pirated DVDs of the latest Hollywood Block-Buster. Sometimes there might be films from other countries too. Even TV dramas, and cartoon series. I once found the pirated DVD for the Legend of Korra in a pirated DVD stall in Batu Ferringhi, Penang!

    With the Internet still a little backward in Malaysia, and 'Gold Disc' pirated DVDs providing top quality content, whenever a movie they like is released, Malaysians like to do the 'Malaysian Thing': They wait for the pirated DVD to be on sale at their favorite Pasar Malam, instead of battling traffic and hassle, and paying too much for a movie ticket at the local cinema. 

     Pirated DVD peddlers might earn up to 50,000 Ringgit/ month! BUT, after all the bribes paid to the local fat-cat police in charge of the district they are operating in, their earnings are always halved, or more. But still, its a good living, without much risk, unlike drugs or kidnapping, which carry the death penalty.


9.Gambling Bookie (RM35,000/month) 

     All Malaysians living in the suburbs have seen it before. That one strange house in the neighborhood. All the other houses look alike. But there will always be that one fancy mansion at a corner lot. It's got fancy water fountains within its compounds, and manicured tropical flower bushes outside its gates. It towers above the other houses, and within its compounds barred by tall gates, loud brash sports cars the likes of Mercedes Benz A45 AMG coupes, Range Rove Evoque urban SUVs, and Porsche Carera 911 GTs are parked.

    This begs the question: What do the owners do for a living? 

   Here's a tip: If they were drug smugglers, they would be living it up in a fancy condo in KLCC, or a bungalow in Bukit Bintang, or Desa Park City

    So no, they are not drug smugglers. They are Gambling Bookies. 

   There are plenty of 4D shops, Toto branches, DaMaCai stalls and other lottery ticket outlets in Malaysia, managed and regulated by government organizations. But those are boring. Many Malaysians love to bet on soccer, horse racing, politics, and many other things in life, and underground bookie rings are everywhere, if one knows where to go. 

    And like the fat-cat bankers on Wall Street, the bookies who run the place charge hefty fees for their 'services', and the foolish gambling addicts gladly  paid up, believing they were participating in a chance to get rich, when really all they were doing was fattening  the wallets of those bookies.

   Note: Sometimes these Gambling Bookies are also Underground Mahjong Bosses, or managers of illegal 4 Digit rings. 

 8.Tongkat Ali exporter (RM50,000/month)

     LELAKI NAK KUAT!!!! BETUL KAN?? All males need that extra boost every now and then to revitalize their performance in the bedroom. Here's where Malaysia's third most in demand export, after                   1) Petronas Oil and 2) Oil Palm, comes in handy. I heard from Taxi-Drivers in Malaysia that Singaporeans, Indonesians, Vietnamese and Filipinos all come to Malaysia seeking this Golden Chalice of a bedroom performance booster. The taxi-drivers proclaim, the most common question they get asked, after 1) where is a brothel to find a good fuck?  Is 2)where is a place that sells TongKat Ali?

    These days there are all kinds of imitations popping up like mushrooms all over Malaysia. One only needs to drive about a hundred meters on Malaysian roads, and they will encounter a lamp-post with a piece of card-board nailed onto it with the words 'Ubat Kuat Lelaki 01X XXX XXXX'. 

   Pffft. Just mere imitations. They can't beat the original TongKat Ali grown and harvested by the old Pacik in his back garden who knows the secret to making men virile. Hence people still seek out the original Tongkat Ali, and exporting this locally producd 'Viagra' is a good source of cash-flow, especially for the local Orang Asli, or local Malaysian Aboriginal tribesmen. 

7.Orang Minyak ( RM 65,000/month)

     No I am not referring to those creepy little imps out of Malaysian folk-lore, covered in black oil and scouring Malay villages for sweet young Malay girls bathing by the riverside to rape. I am referring to Orang Asli, the aboriginal tribesmen in Malaysia, who sneak into Palm Oil plantations at night to harvest some oil palm, and sell them on the black market. 

   Take a drive along scenic Sepang, the lush green undeveloped belt close to the Kuala Lumpur International Airport, and one will find thriving Orang Asli communities deep in the jungles located there. They own well-constructed homes of bricks and concrete, with piped water and electricity, and even Astro cable satellite dishes! The Orang Asli even have Toyota Hilux and Mitsubishi Triton pick-up trucks, Toyota Unser MPVs and even Toyota Alphards parked in their make-shift drive-ways, which they paid for in CASH! 

    Of course those Orang Asli do grow and export some TongKat Ali too, but when you look at the Palm Oil plantations surrounding the Sepang region, where small quantities of oil palm crop are stolen every few days, one wonders, is growing and exporting Tongkat Ali all the Orang Asli ever do? 


6. Luxury Car Thief (80,000 Ringgit/month)

     Malaysia is a dangerous place. There are local gangs who set up traps along Malaysian highways late at night. Should the gangsters spot a luxury vehicle travelling on the highway at 1 or 2 am in the morning, when no one else is around, they will activate the trap, disable the luxury vehicle, knock the driver unconscious and make off with the vehicle. From there, the luxury vehicle will be smuggled into Thailand or Vietnam to be sold to rich people there for a good price. The worse thing is, if the driver of the hijacked luxury vehicle was an attractive woman, she will most likely be raped. 

   Malaysian police have stepped up efforts to clamp down on such gangs, but these gangs are very smart. If it's not luxury cars, its plain ordinary Protons, Peroduas, Toyotas and Hondas they target, as long as the cars are easy to steal, and easy to dis-assemble and sell on the black market part by part. 

   

5.Traffic Cop (100,000/Month) 
    I kid you not. You see the roadblocks they always hold on busy roads in Malaysia, stopping drivers of vehicles or riders of motorcycles? You think their intentions are pure? NO! Especially when its close to Hari Raya.

   And Malaysia is unlike Singapore. In Singapore traffic cops will arrest you if you try to bribe them. In Malaysia things are 'negotiable', where to avoid a 300 Ringgit fine, a 100 Ringgit bribe is enough to encourage the traffic cop to look away. In fact there are times when Malaysian traffic-police will simply stop a driver and try their luck, accusing said driver of some trumped-up traffic violation to which the driver has to vehemently deny, and state, "if I've done something wrong, lets head to the station and make an official report."  That will convince the traffic cop to back off. 

  Worst of all are the appalling number of accidents on Malaysian roads. It's a sad reflection of the decrepit state of Malaysia's roads, and how terrible Malaysian drivers are at driving. To...encourage a station sergeant to prioritize your case on top of the pile of cases he has to clear when it's a dispute during an accident between two drivers, or to view one driver's case more favorably over the opposing party, under-the-table deals are struck, thus making this job a very lucrative one indeed. I have witnessed traffic police station sergeants in Penang stroll about with fancy rings on all ten fingers, purchased from such 'under-the-table' money. 

 4. Alcohol and Tobacco Smuggler (RM120,000/ month) 
    You think Langkawi is all fun and games? Think again! Langkawi has a duty-free airport, through which duty free alcohol and tobacco brought into the country by plane is then distributed throughout the nation by smugglers on boats. This is a hard living, though it pays well, as getting caught results in severe punishment by Law Enforcement Agencies. 


3.Customs Officer (Kastam DiRaja Malaysia) (150,000 Ringgit /month)

   KLIA and KLIA2 are not the busiest airports in the world. Neither are the Penang and Langkawi Airports. The same goes for the Senai Airport in Johor, and the various airports in Sabah and Sarawak.

    But a considerable amount of traffic still passes through those gleaming hubs of the aviation industry: People with 'dubious stuff' they want to bring in to Malaysia (i.e Drugs?), and people with 'suspicious items' they want to take out of the country (for eg. exotic animal furs and products?) walk through their halls and pass through their gates everyday. And that's when knowing the right contacts in the Malaysian Customs Department helps. 

2.Arms Smuggler  (RM200,000 Ringgit /month) 

    There are more than just tigers and crocodiles infesting Malaysia's Jungles and Swamps. There are arms-smugglers too. Where do you think those Indian Hitmen who are hired to take out business competitors or unsavory political elements in Malaysia get their guns from?  

   The guns are supposedly 'factory defects' coming from arms factories in the Phillippines, smuggled through Thailand's jungles into the Malaysian northern border state of Perlis, and then distributed to the rest of Malaysia. Not something I recommend getting into, as getting caught by Malaysian border police results in harsh penalties. 

1.Drug Dealer (300,000 Ringgit/month)

   Another occupation I warn against getting into, as being caught carries the death penalty in Malaysia. But high risk yields high returns, and being a drug dealer is the best-paying job there is. I'm not talking about selling bags of low quality weed from Thailand to the clueless punks in Malaysian colleges, who do not even understand the difference between Hybrid, Sativa and Indica strains of Marijuana, and they are ignorant of how there are weed strains for recreational use, and weed strains for medicinal purposes, or what are 'magic muffins' and 'magic brownies' . Those idiots simply roll the pot up in some scrap piece of paper, and smoke the weed just like they would smoke a packet of Malboro Lights. 

   I am talking about selling Speed, K, and Ecstasy at Malaysia's night clubs at 500 Ringgit a pill to the prancing fools who love to Rave from night till morning. I am talking about selling Crystal Meth and Heroin to the budding artist or musician looking for his or her next high, to get inspiration for his or her next 'Master-piece' or Billboard hit  Heck, I don't even know what's the latest 'designer' drugs they sell to clueless drug addicts these days, or how much they cost, but whatever it is, don't go into it, despite the high pay. You're ruining lives for the sake of a few dollars. However I still advocate legislature to be passed to legalize magical mushrooms and marijuana coffee shops in Amsterdam and other liberal cities in the world, as usage is regulated, and conducted by responsible adults in moderate amounts. 

   Perhaps in the case of Malaysia, legalization of recreational drugs will provide a new source of revenue, from the taxes collected on the drugs. It might also increase tourism numbers in the country, as In Amsterdam. One is not naive enough to believe tourists flock to the capital of the Netherlands just to admire the windmills and smell the tulips, though there are reports the mayor of Amsterdam is clamping down on such coffee-shops of recreational marijuana use. 

  That concludes my essay : Top 10 highest paying jobs in Malaysia that does not require a degree. Special mention goes to Petronas Oil Brokers. Yes it actually requires a degree, but nevertheless, during the boom days Petronas Oil Brokers were paid obscene salaries, higher than your average pilot, doctor or lawyer in Malaysia.

   But ever since the sharp fall in world oil prices, the commissions of the Petronas Oil Brokers have taken a big hit. It remains to be seen if oil prices will rise again, and if Petronas Oil Brokers can earn the vast salaries they used to make when Oil was USD100 per barrel or more.

   Thanks for reading!  And have a great day!