Essay on Malaysia: Common Types of Personalities in Malaysian Offices (Part 2)

                                                    Picture of a Hip Hijabsta

 

     Welcome to Part 2 of my essay: Common Types of Personalities in Malaysian  Offices. Here I discuss three more personality types one tends to find in Malaysian offices.

1) The Hip Hijabsta

     Hip Hijabstas are a new breed of Malay girls entering the workforce in the 21st Century. Despite the colorful vibrant hijabs she wore, which were always matched with trendy long-sleeved tops and jeans or trousers, the Hip Hijabsta is open and progressive in her outlook. She is most likely a One Direction fan, and had plans to visit twenty major cities in Europe before she turned 35. She loved languages, and could speak German, French, Italian, Japanese and Korean, because she loved European Noir films, Japanese Anime and Korean TV dramas.

     In high school and college, the Hip Hijabster must have been head of the Debating team, and being the intelligent and articulate 'Chili Padi' they typically were, Hip Hijabstas probably swept all the Debating competitions they participated in. When it came to tough challenges others normally avoided, the feisty Hip Hijabsta will dive straight into the challenge, and deliver in good time. The Hip Hijabsta loved beating the odds and proving people wrong. Despite being ethnically Malay, the Hip Hijabsta attitudes and work habits are decidedly Western. 

     I advise refraining from messing with the Hip Hijabsta. Her weekends are probably spent at a Judo, or a Karate class, and her menacing shouts preceding each attack are already enough to send potential foes scurrying for cover, never mind the actual attacks themselves which she threw in brutal blow after blow. But despite her 'tough exterior' there will always be a soft side to the Hip Hijabsta, and the easiest way to her heart would be through her stomach, for example buying her a premium espresso blend at Yellow Brick Road, or treating her to an excellent slice of cake at Antipodean cafe.

2) The Fluffy-Headed Homo

     The Fluffy-Headed Homo is a male-office worker steadily increasing in number in the HR and Creative departments of Malaysian companies in recent years. They are terribly feminine in their gestures and tone of voice. The Fluffy-Headed Homo also loves putting on make-up, and may be on hormones to grow a pair of breasts. 

     His sexual tendencies non-withstanding, The Fluffy-Headed Homo is a great person to interact with. He has a fashionable sense of style, always color-coordinating his clothes, and looks neat and presentable all the time. His favorite shoes were a pair of pricey floral Chuck Taylor All-Star Converse sneakers, and he somehow managed to keep them immaculately clean despite the filthy streets of KL. One would be hard-pressed to find him in the same pair of shoes on two consecutive days, and one Fluffy-Head Homo once boasted to me, he owns more shoes than Imelda Marcos. The Fluffy-Headed Homo's most attractive feature was his bob-hairdo, done for him by his sister’s hairstylist, dyed an auburn brown, and he was willing to spend to get his hair re-bonded.

     The Fluffy-Headed Homo is the kind of friend who will give you a shoulder to cry on when you are down, and one can count on him to keep one’s secrets. It is unfortunate I am such a ‘man’s man’, or I will made an effort to get to know the Fluffy-Headed Homo better. I am not homophobic, but I find his ‘growing breasts’ a little disturbing. 

3) The Dude with the Side-Income Business

     You know the fellow I am talking about. It could be a he, or a she, and this fellow is always cajoling fat colleagues to buy Herbalife products from him or her. They are often seen in the office-pantry trying to sell Amway products to fellow office-workers as they made coffee or drank from the water-cooler. Come Hari Raya, they will march into the office with tins of Raya biscuits and try to sell two or three tins to each colleague. There will always be one or two individuals falling under the Dude with the Side-Income Business category in every Malaysian office, as the current economic climate is horribly bleak, and nearly every Malaysian household is seeking additional sources of income. 

     For Dudes with the Side-Income Business, evenings are spent learning about sales tactics to help them sell better. Weekends are spent holding tea parties to obtain more potential customers gathered from neighbors, friends and family to buy their products. Can't really blame them though. They wanted the good life, and were willing to work hard for it, so hats off to them really. 

Interactions between the personalities. 

     As mentioned in part 1 of this essay, the Fluffy-Headed Homo is most likely to be best friends with the Office-Whore, since hardly any one speaks to either of them. The Fluffy-Headed Homo is probably  misunderstood by the rest of the office-staff, except perhaps the Office Makcik, who will treat the Fluffy-Headed Homo as a surrogate 'daughter', and share tips with the Fluffy-Headed Homo on baking, cooking, and gardening.

     On his part, the Fluffy-Headed Homo will try to get the Office-Makcik to dress in more modern fashion, and try to provide advice on color combinations , but the Office Makcik will shrug them off and say she's old, it does not matter any more. The Office Makcik and Hip Hijabsta will be best friends, often forming a clique, along with other hijab-donning ladies against the Office-Whore and the other girls in the office preferring Western Styles of dressing. The Hip Hijabsta will see the Office-Whore as all appearance and no substance, while the Office-Whore will be silently jealous at the Hip Hijabsta's talent and accomplishments

     The Fluffy-Headed Homo is most likely to be bullied by the Hip Hijabsta on a regular basis, who will playfully punch the Fluffy-Headed Homo to try and toughen him up, at which the Fluffy Headed Homo will scream and cry blue murder. The Dude with the Side-Income will always be loathed and avoided like the plague by everyone else, far more so than the Office-Whore and the Fluffy-Headed Homo, as the Dude with the Side-Income is a KL Shark through and through, only looking out for number one, At least the Office-Whore possessed a Kampong Charm, and only did what she did because she wanted to get the job done. The Dude with the Side Income business was truly avaricious in nature, and everyone kept a wide berth from him or her.

     But if the Dude with a Side Income Business was a young hot-blooded guy, he might use his side-income business as an excuse to flirt with the Office-Whore. Unfortunately, some times several Dudes with Side Income Businesses may hold positions of power in certain departments, therefore some poor soul in a junior position might be forced to purchase their products in order to get to know them better, and that is when, like a leech, the Dudes with Side Businesses will attach themselves to the poor soul, who will be their first port of call whenever they have some products to sell. 

     That concludes my essay on Common Types of Personalities in Malaysian Offices! Thanks for reading and have a good day!